We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf: he lied so many times that a wolf was in the sheep pasture that when a wolf finally did show up no one believed him and consequently, the wolf ate all the sheep. Children learn this fable to understand the ramifications of even the simplest lie and for a little while it works- that is until we become adults at least.
Last November a very cute French police officer asked me out for a drink. Since we had friends in common and he came highly recommend by one of these friends, I agreed to go. Unfortunately his timing couldn’t have been worse since finals were fast approaching. Finally, I managed to find time in between papers and studying but then my timing couldn’t have been worse: he was leaving on vacation for a week but promised to call upon his return. Two weeks later finals came and went and he still hadn’t called. I brushed it off genuinely relieved that the stress of the end of the semester had finally lifted- the last thing on my mind was the fact that a guy I barely knew hadn’t called me.
However, two days before I was suppose to leave for winter break, my Frenchman walked into the bar I was working in. A dull and dreary Saturday afternoon, I was quiet surprised to see him because I hadn’t expected to hear, let alone see him again. As he apologized for not calling and claimed that he still wanted to go out, my ego finally kicked in. Smugly, I explained to him that I was leaving for about a month and watched the disappointment wash across his face. “Well, when you get back then?” he asked eagerly. “Sure,” I replied casually and thought to myself, we’ll see.
Winter break came and went and when I arrived back in Paris I had no messages from him and once again figured he had moved on since it had been a while since we had seen or talked to one another. But after the first week of classes were over, I received a text message from him asking if I was back in the city. I replied yes and he responded by asking me out again. We arranged to meet up the following Wednesday and when I didn’t hear from him all day I started to get a little annoyed. Finally he text messaged me to say that he was sorry but he was stuck at work and wasn’t going to be able to make it. I said I understood and that he should call me soon.
We arranged to meet the following week but then something came up. The next week he asked me out again and when our designated day came and went without any word I started to get a little angry. However, three days later I got an apologetic phone call explaining that he has been incredibly busy at work. When the next week came and went in the same fashion, I was ready to tell him not to call anymore (whenever he finally did decide to call). Except this time, he came into the bar I work at and hung out for a few hours. Of course the moment he walked through the door I forgot all the things I had planned to say and accepted whatever excuse he threw at me along with his, “I promise we will meet up on Tuesday.” (Did I mention he is really cute?!)
But even the last time we were supposed to meet, I got a text message apologizing that he wouldn’t be able to see me because he was stuck in bed with a temperature. It took everything inside me not to respond, “bon, toujours des excuses!” I realized, however, that I would look completely heartless if he really was sick. However, heartless or not, I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with this guy? Perhaps he is really busy (sneer) but to be honest it doesn’t make much sense. First of all he could at least have the courtesy to call me when he says he is going to call and second of all why does he keep bothering to ask me out? It appears that I am being played by someone I barely know! I haven’t done the typical girl thing and call him 15 times when he doesn’t call nor do I bitch or yell. But I have found that I am making excuses for him in front of my girlfriends, almost as if I am secretly routing for him to not let me down just once so I can prove I am not a complete idiot.
And of course each time I have to disappointedly explain that no, we did not meet up again, my girlfriends raise their eyebrows and look at me with slight suspicion. Some are sympathetic but others can’t help but tell me what they really think. One friend suggested that maybe he just wants the satisfaction of a positive response whenever he asks a girl out; another thought that if he can’t even commit to a first date than he is probably terrified of commitment. A third friend can only look at me with disdain, in comprehensive of why I keep accepting his excuses. But none of this reasoning really answers my question. It is only a first date after all, if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. There is no need to be afraid of a future that hasn’t happened yet.
Yet, whichever his reason, I have figured out one thing: the Frenchman is either very smart or very stupid. He is stupid for leading me on before the date because if someone else comes along there is no stopping me from going out with him and leaving the police man behind. But I think he is smarter than that. He has gotten me so involved in the idea of actually dating him that I can’t think of doing anything but that. He knows I probably won’t refuse because I am completely fixed on the idea of going on at least one date with him. If I was smart, I would just tell him no the next time he asks but if I say no it is over and all that would be left is the “what if” factor.
However, I am slightly surprised that I am still standing at square one with him; I am getting the attention a guy gives to a girl when he asks her out for the first time, except I have said yes to the same first date more times than I would like to count! Above all it is hard to conclude on something that has not even begun and in some ways I feel like I am being forced to write the conclusion to a forty-page paper before I have even come up with the thesis. But thesis statement or not, what is clear is that all the cards have been dealt and the bets have all been called- it is finally time for someone to reveal the winning hand.
19 February 2006
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