So maybe I provoked it. Just a little at least. But he was forewarned. In fact, each time someone mentions I look like a certain TV star who used to act like a certain sex columnist, I usually don't fail to mention that I, in fact, had a similar column that eventually became this blog-- La Fille Mal Gardée. So, you can't be surprised when you find a character of yourself within its lines. That's life and if you don't agree with that, well then that's the way it is. I have no apologies because if I can admit my mistakes than well you can live with a few of your worst (and sometimes greatest!) moments somewhere out there on the internet. And if it is name-calling you are worried about, well I cleverly label you for disguise.
Now that I've stated my case, I should probably add before going further, that I might have gone a little further this time. But it was so tempting that I couldn't resist. And I felt if I got one fair swing, it was the most appropriate place to attempt it. And boy did it work!
A few weeks ago, I landed on the fair Ilse of Ireland. And as I related in an earlier post, a nice Irish lad invited me out. And while it didn't play into a perfect Irish romance, I was happy to brush it off until he literally brushed me off in a grocery store.
So, I took the liberty of posting about the situation (not the guy per-say) on an online community we both belonged to. I knew he would probably find it and if he didn't someone he knew surely would. But to my own defense, I tried to conceal his identity as best I could there. Perhaps, I took a few more liberties on the La Fille but I could never have expected the response I received.
He found the thread and then the blog. And with that spurred a flood of angry texts as to where I had the nerve to talk about him in that nature. Of course, he denied any wrong doing, and for a moment there I almost fell for it; until he mentioned what he was really upset about: Dublin and ASW were both small places, word could get around.
Ha! He was worried that I would tarnish his reputation-- as if it was my fault that he tarnished his reputation. I suppose it was me, if tarnishing a person's reputation is to not have sex with him. Or perhaps it was the fact that I claimed he followed me around the grocery store aisles just to continue ignoring me.
While I have always respected a person's desire to not be in relationship or maintain purely sexual ones, I think I draw the line at someone wanting to preserve their player image. And even less so, when they couldn't even seal the deal.
But what strikes me, and it is not only a strike against the Irish lad, is how detached from one another we are. Both the Irish lad and myself were completely and utterly immature and selfish. I wanted to preserve my ego and sense of being right (whatever right meant in this situation) and he was fearful as being eternally labeled as a jerk. To be fair, he probably is not a jerk-- just a guy in his 30s who continues to live with roommates not because he can't afford to live alone but because he is not really ready for life beyond roommates.
But I wonder, if I had politely declined his invitation to share wine at his apartment, would things have worked out differently? Would he have said hello in the grocery store. A part of me wants to say yes, but most of me knows it probably would have played out exactly the same.
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